Surrogacy is a big commitment. The agency beside you matters.
At Love & Kindness, we keep our caseload intentionally small so our team can know your journey, pay attention to the details, and support you like a person, not a file. We want you to feel respected, protected, informed, and genuinely cared for from the first conversation through postpartum.
The Pros and Cons of Becoming a Surrogate
Becoming a surrogate can be an incredible experience, but it is also a complex and deeply personal choice. Talk to your family and friends about your desire to become a surrogate, and make sure you have a good support system before proceeding.
Pros
It’s an extremely fulfilling experience.
One of our previous surrogates said it best:
“I cannot think of anything greater that a person can do for another person than being a surrogate.”
Helping someone else become a parent is one of the greatest gifts a person can give. Knowing that you have helped another family become a family will bring a great sense of accomplishment and a lot of happiness to you for the rest of your life.
Most surrogates and intended parents stay in touch for many years after the baby is born. You may become close friends and feel like family with them. It is a very deep and unique connection that many surrogates enjoy and cherish.
It is also rewarding, not just spiritually, but financially.
Surrogates are very well compensated. Many surrogates use that money to help put a down payment on a house, pay off student loans, pay down debt, or start a college fund for their own children.
Surrogates are well supported and legally protected.
At Love & Kindness, we make sure you feel supported for your entire journey. We guide you and your intended parents through every step of the surrogacy process. Whenever someone has a question or concern, we are always a text, call, or email away.
We also help you make the best use of your psychological and wellness benefits, which may be used toward mental health professionals, nutritionists, doulas, personal trainers, prenatal massages, and more, depending on your final benefit package.
Legally, your rights are protected. You will have your own attorney to help inform and protect you. A professional escrow account will also be used to ensure that the funds needed for compensation and reimbursements are in place.
Cons
We will not sugarcoat it. Being a surrogate can be very demanding.
You will be asked to complete many steps in this process, including a psychological evaluation and a trip to the intended parents’ clinic location. You may also be asked to take injectable medications to prepare your body to accept the intended parents’ embryo, attend multiple medical appointments near your home, and travel to the clinic again for the embryo transfer.
After you are confirmed pregnant, you will also need to attend routine appointments for OB care. You will put your body through the changes and discomforts that come with being pregnant. It truly is a huge commitment and sacrifice you are making for the intended parents.
This process may sometimes feel extremely frustrating.
Medicine is not an exact science, and everyone’s body is different, so things can sometimes not go the way everyone hoped.
Every embryo transfer has a chance to succeed, but it is not guaranteed. It may feel like an emotional roller coaster to get your hopes up after preparing and going through an embryo transfer, only to find out later that the embryo did not stick, or that there was an early miscarriage.
A good agency should help you understand what is happening and support you through those moments, not leave you feeling alone.
There are medical risks.
There are risks involved with any pregnancy. Complications may happen.
Being pregnant as a surrogate is not necessarily riskier than being pregnant naturally on your own, but pregnancy still carries real medical risks. In a worst-case scenario, a surrogate could suffer reproductive organ loss or even die during childbirth.
Although we do not expect anything bad to happen, Love & Kindness has a life insurance policy and organ loss compensation in place for all surrogates in case such a situation ever occurs.
We also require all surrogates to attend routine OB appointments and deliver at a birthing hospital. Home birth and birthing center delivery are not allowed. This is to maximize protection for both the surrogate and the baby.
Why surrogates choose Love & Kindness
Personal support, real experience, and a team that stays close.
Love & Kindness is intentionally boutique. We are not trying to take on as many cases as possible. We keep our caseload personal because surrogates deserve more than a name in a file or a quick check-in when something is due.
Many surrogates who have worked with other agencies before us have told us that Love & Kindness feels different. They feel more seen, more supported, and more cared for.
That matters to us.
Surrogacy has many moving parts: applications, medical records, background checks, matching, legal contracts, medications, embryo transfer, pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum. Our team stays close to the journey so we can understand what is happening, explain what comes next, and help you feel supported through each stage.
This is your body, your time, your family, and your journey too. We do not take that lightly.
We are here for the real journey, not just the easy parts.
Some parts of surrogacy are beautiful. You may build a meaningful relationship with the intended parents. You may get to watch someone become a parent because of something you chose to do. Many surrogates describe that moment as one of the most meaningful experiences of their lives.
But we also want to be honest.
Surrogacy can be demanding. There are appointments, screenings, medications, travel, legal steps, pregnancy symptoms, and emotional ups and downs. Sometimes an embryo transfer does not work. Sometimes there is an early miscarriage. Sometimes there are delays. Sometimes the process takes longer than anyone hoped.
When things become complicated, we stay involved.
We help you understand what is happening, what needs attention, and who needs to do what next. We help communicate, problem-solve, and keep the process moving so you are not left trying to figure it out alone.
Common Questions
What kind of compensation will I receive?
Reputable agencies make sure that surrogates are paid fairly for the hard work they are doing. Our compensation is competitive and may vary depending on your location, surrogacy history, insurance, and other case-specific factors.
For more information on our pay and benefits, visit our compensation page.
What are surrogacy laws like in my state?
Surrogacy laws can vary by state. We will help guide the legal process during your journey, and you will also have your own attorney to protect and inform you.
If you are interested, you can also review our state law map.
What are surrogates saying about Love & Kindness?
We asked some of our current and previous surrogates about their journeys with Love & Kindness. Here is what they had to say.
What kind of compensation will I receive?
Reputable agencies make sure that surrogates are paid fairly for the hard work they are doing. Our compensation is competitive and may vary depending on your location, surrogacy history, insurance, and other case-specific factors.
For more information on our pay and benefits, visit our compensation page.
What the process actually looks like
Every journey is different, but most surrogates move through these general stages.
- Intake form
The first step is completing your intake form. This helps us learn about your pregnancy history, health background, location, insurance, support system, and basic qualifications.
- Initial review
Our team reviews your intake form and follows up with you. If you appear to meet the basic requirements, we will explain the next steps and what information we need from you.
- Medical records and background check
We will help collect and review your pregnancy and delivery records. A background check is also part of the process.
- Matching
If you are approved to move forward, we will work on finding intended parents who may be a good fit for you. Matching is not just about checking boxes. Your preferences, comfort level, communication style, and hopes for the journey matter.
- Match call
Before a match is confirmed, you and the intended parents will meet by video call. This gives everyone a chance to talk, ask questions, and decide whether the match feels right.
- Psychological and medical screening
You will complete psychological screening and medical screening through the fertility clinic. Medical screening may include bloodwork, ultrasound, physical exam, and other clinic-specific requirements.
- Legal contract
You will have your own attorney. The surrogacy agreement is reviewed and completed before embryo transfer. This contract explains rights, responsibilities, compensation, reimbursements, expectations, and important decisions.
- Medication and embryo transfer
The fertility clinic will provide your medication calendar and instructions. Once your body is ready, you will travel for the embryo transfer.
- Pregnancy confirmation
After transfer, you will have bloodwork to see whether pregnancy is confirmed. If the embryo transfer is successful, the clinic will continue monitoring you until you are released to your local OB.
- Pregnancy support
Once pregnancy is confirmed, you will attend regular OB appointments and keep communication open with the agency and intended parents. We remain involved to help coordinate, answer questions, and support you.
- Birth planning
As delivery gets closer, we help coordinate the birth plan with you, the intended parents, the hospital, attorneys, and anyone else involved.
- Delivery and postpartum
After delivery, we continue supporting the final steps of the journey, including postpartum communication, final reimbursements, breast milk arrangements if applicable, and any remaining needs after birth.
What medications will I be taking?
We have written a separate page about common medications surrogates may take before and after embryo transfer. We also have sample medication calendars available for viewing.
What is the timeline for surrogacy like?
We have written a separate page about common medications surrogates may take before and after embryo transfer. We also have sample medication calendars available for viewing.
Are you likely eligible?
Surrogacy requirements exist to protect you, the baby, and the intended parents. Final approval depends on the fertility clinic responsible for the embryo transfer.
In general, we look for surrogates who:
- Are between 21 and 41 years old
- Are a U.S. citizen or permanent resident
- Have a valid driver’s license
- Have had one or more healthy pregnancies and deliveries
- Have had fewer than two C-sections
- Have had fewer than five pregnancies
- Are able to pass a standard background check
- Are non-smokers with no history of drug use
- Have a BMI under 35
- Have a stable support system
- Live in any U.S. state except Louisiana, New York, Nebraska, Hawaii, or Alaska
These requirements are not meant to judge anyone. They exist because fertility clinics have to consider medical safety before approving someone for embryo transfer.
We generally cannot accept applicants who:
- Have never been pregnant and given birth
- Currently use Essure as a form of birth control
- Have taken insulin, beta blockers, or anticonvulsants in the past 12 months
- Have taken antidepressants, ADHD medications, or anti-anxiety medications in the past 6 months
- Smoked during a previous pregnancy or smoked in the last two years
- Have had certain pregnancy complications, such as placental abruption, placental accreta, or HELLP
- Delivered prematurely in the most recent pregnancy
- Had certain complications in the most recent pregnancy, such as preeclampsia, unresolved placenta previa, vasa previa, medicated gestational diabetes, cerclage, or toxemia
If you are not sure whether something in your history affects your eligibility, please ask us. Some situations are clear, and some need to be reviewed more carefully.
What makes Love & Kindness different for surrogates
We keep the journey personal.
At Love & Kindness, we keep our caseload personal so our team can understand what is actually happening in your journey. We want to be close enough to notice details, answer questions clearly, and support you when something needs attention.
Surrogates and intended parents who have worked with larger agencies before often tell us this is where Love & Kindness feels different. They feel like our team knows the journey, understands the details, and can help more thoughtfully when questions or complications come up.
We care about the match.
We do not want you to feel pushed into a match that does not feel right. The relationship between a surrogate and intended parents can become one of the most special parts of the journey.
Your comfort matters.
We believe support should be real.
Support is not just a word on a website. It means answering questions, helping you prepare, checking in, explaining next steps, coordinating with professionals, and being available when something feels confusing or overwhelming.
Your rights and compensation are protected.
Before embryo transfer, you will have your own attorney to review the surrogacy agreement with you. Your compensation, reimbursements, responsibilities, and important decisions will be addressed in the contract before the journey moves forward.
A professional escrow account is also used so funds are in place for the compensation and reimbursements owed under the agreement.